I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It's just like the Real World with babies
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
COCAINE IS GR8
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
