ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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