idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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