just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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