Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
