FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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