my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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