its not stalking. its research.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
