is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
