A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
