so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I still have a little drunk in my system
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
