somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
