My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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