Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I could fuck to npr.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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