Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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