yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize