Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
