Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
