yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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