let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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