Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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