And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
someone owes me an orgasm
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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