Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
