she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
