Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
