shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
