My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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