Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
