yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
