What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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