i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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