im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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