I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
how can u be prego again
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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