dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
