Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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