My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
