I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
