theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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