I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
