What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
