Umm I'm too high to move.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
