Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
