i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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