Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize