Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize