Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we made out on top of his cat.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
