only if we run a train.
done.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
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