Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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