Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
