Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
