..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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