U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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