Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
