CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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