i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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