dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
