If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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