carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
