i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
