I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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