I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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